Friday, August 29, 2008

A small small world.

Today I was sitting at my desk working on (yet another) Excel spreadsheet when in walked a professor and her new grad assistant. I looked up and was suddenly looking at (a stunned) Christina Squire from Tolman Elementary and the LDS Bountiful North Stake. I blurted out, "You live in Nebraska?!" I jumped up and we gave each other a huge hug and started talking a mile a minute. She just moved here two weeks ago with her husband for them both to start grad school. I've known Christina for as long as I remember. She's a year older than me, but we went to school together and were in the same LDS Stake and served on the Bountiful Youth Council together. She's an amazing girl and we both marveled at what a small world it is. As I sat down and started thinking about the encounter, the talk by Elder Bednar on "The Tender Mercies of the Lord" popped into my head. I know that Heavenly Father is looking out for us here and I know He sent us here for a reason, and this is one of them. I can't tell you what a comfort a familiar face is in this sea of unfamiliarity. Christina and I both actually started to cry a bit as we were talking about how we don't know where anything is in the grocery store or how we look for people we know as we walk through a crowd, but then realize that we're not going to know anyone. Seeing Christina today was a blessing and a comfort to me and I know that we're not here alone.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

African Wisdom for Life

On my desk is an "African Wisdom for Life" daily calendar. The wisdom for today is, "The tree that is not taller than you does not shade you." -African proverb

I don't know what to make of it, any ideas?

Thursday, August 21, 2008

I don't want to be a bummer anymore

Sorry this blog has been a bit of a bummer lately, but things are looking up. My parents are much better and my dad's surgery went well and my mom is recouping in style with her sisters in St. George. We are doing well. I now have four students from the music store and I taught them for the first time yesterday. I forget how much I love teaching when I go for awhile without doing it. Scott starts school on Monday and I think he is excited, but you can never tell... We celebrated our 3rd year anniversary yesterday and it was very nice. We ate really good Indian food (spinach naan, I don't need to say anymore). Then we missed our first movie time so we went to the 9:40 showing of Traveling Pants. We had the entire movie theatre and probably the entire building to ourselves. I enjoyed the movie and we sat and commented and sang as loud as we wanted. A perfect date for us.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Crazy things

Thank you all for your comments and concerns over my tranistion period. I got lots of good advice and perspective from those who have gone before. Thank you for your love, wisdom and understanding. We have been watching the Olympics and I have three students now through the music store down the street. Things back home in Utah have been a bit scary, but okay. Check out my brother's blog to see what's going on in the life of the Stoneman family.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

The following spouse

This is what Amy Odum (one of Scott's amazing advisors at USU) called me (or my role) before we left Logan for Lincoln. She had been a following spouse years before and then eventually got her own Ph.D. I've been thinking a lot about this phrase ever since we got here. When we started down this path of graduate school it was obvious that we would go where Scott needed to go. His field is way more specialized than anything that I wanted to do with a graduate degree and when people questioned me about "following him" I was like, "duh, of course we're going where he needs to go". I didn't feel like I needed to defend the fact that I was taking a back seat, and I still don't feel that way. I know that coming here was the right choice for us and it holds in store many things for me that I know will enrich my life.

What I didn't know was what being "the following spouse" was going to do to the image I had of myself. In Logan I had many things that defined me. My music, my students, my church, my schooling, my friends, my husband, my family, my job etc. Most of the things that defined me existed before I met and married Scott and he just added to this wonderful mixture of my self esteem.

When we came here a lot of those things were no longer there. Well, they still were a part of me, but I wasn't able to partake of them everyday. I missed having students and close friends and family. I missed having a direction in my life. When we were in Logan it was always really clear cut what was next; graduate from school, work for a year while Scott finishes, go to graduate school for Scott. And that's where it always ended when people asked. Now that we're here, I find myself floundering for what I really want to do.

It's not to say that there isn't plenty for me to do here. I want to start a master's degree in learning disabilities, I want to get a big studio and teach lots of kiddies, I just didn't expect me to feel this way. It's like I have nothing to really attach myself to. I'm jealous of Scott who has this title and future sketched out for him for the next five years "graduate student". My future is much more uncertain. I'm not complaining, I'm not bitter, I'm just reflective. I know that many of the readers of this blog have been, are or are going to be in this situation; so I want to hear from you.